Have you ever woke-up and had the feeling that you miss something? Something that you once had – a touch of a hand, a smell of green spring wet grass, a friend, a warm voice on the phone, a kiss, a place where you felt secured, the smell of pancakes filled with strawberry jelly? Or maybe something you never had or felt but just know that you miss not having and not knowing what it feels like?
I had both feelings lately. Mostly I miss my childhood. It was perfect. A quite small village, me the center of the universe for my grandparents, the feeling of rain on my feet, the warm hand of my grandmother, my first friends from the kindergarthen, my first Christmas with Santa, my first bike, my first written words, my long hair, my first drawing book, my first dress made by my grandmother and most of all the feeling that everything would be ok, that nothing bad could ever happen to me. Time took its right and I grew-up…so like all perfect things my childhood ended.
Then everything became complicated…true life started with school, responsabilities, worries, plans, dreams, fears. It seems like it has been ages since I took my head in the big world…but looking back I feel the same as I did 20 years ago.
Sometimes we forget about ourselves trying to understand others, trying to get somewhere, to achive something, to make true our dreams, we focus to much on not making any mistakes and we forget to relax, to smile. We feel all the time in the back of our head the fear of not doing what we are supposed to do, of not disappointing others, of not making the wrong choices. But who can say what is the right way and what is the wrong one? I think only us can tell if we look deep inside ourselves.
I’ve learned over the years that we have to enjoy everything good that happens to us without making plans, without asking why, because if we spend time asking questions we might just waist precious moments. Things sometimes happen for a reason, because they are ment to be, and sometimes things happen with no reason. The thing is that nothing lasts forever. Life itsn’t forever. Love is not forever. None of the things around us last forever because in life change is something we can’t stop, it is like time…we can’t stop the clock in this day, hour of 2011. But in order to be perfect, a thing, a feeling, a moment, doesn’t have to last forever. We just need to make the best out of it, to leave every second giving the best, enjoying it and keep inside of us the memories…that we can play over and over again in our head…when we’re missing something that was perfect.
