Astazi mi-am facut unghiile cu orja albastra, albastru-electric. Dupa ce le-am dat cu orja, le-am sters pentru ca mi s-au parut prea exagerate, prea tipatoare desi imi doream de multa vreme sa incerc culoarea aceasta. Apoi le-am facut rosii...am stat asa cateva ore, dupa care le-am sters si le-am facut din nou albastre. Pana maine dimineata cred ca le voi mai sterge de cateva ori. De ce? Din lipsa curajului de a purta ceva ce nu am mai purtat. Pentru ca mi-e frica de nou, pentru ca prefer sa ma conformez in limitele unor situatii pe care le cunosc si de care sunt satula decat sa risc si sa incerc ceva nou.
Astazi pe facebook un fost coleg de facultate scrie : mi-am dat demisia astazi pentru ca asa am simtit. Am simtit ca trebuie sa incerc altceva, sa fac altceva. De cate ori nu am avut senzatia aceasta. De cate ori mi-am dorit sa renunt la tot si sa fac ceea ce-mi doresc, sa nu ma gandesc la consecinte, la ziua de salariu, ziua de plata a facturilor, a ratelor. Multi dintre noi insa nu avem acest curaj niciodata, ramanem blocati in situatii pe care le acceptam, in care ne conformam, acceptam joburi pentru care nu avem nici un pic de entuziasm si pasiune doar de dragul salariului, ne implicam in relatii cu persoane doar pentru a nu fi singuri din care ulterior nu stim cum sa mai iesim, ne conformam ordinelor primite, sarcinilor trasate, birocratiei din tara, taierilor salariale, alegerilor conducatorilor tarii etc. Si conformandu-ne,ne trezim in fiecare zi la ora 8 si incepem ziua din inertie, conform rutinei programului zilnic si uitam sa ne bucuram de fiecare zi, de viata.
Maine dimineata, la prima ora, in loc de cafea ar trebui sa bem o doza de curaj si poate vom reusi sa vedem realitatea din jur altfel.
marți, 6 septembrie 2011
miercuri, 24 august 2011
sâmbătă, 13 august 2011
Where is HOME?
A friend posted a while ago the answer to this question - HOME is where someone is waiting for you. Good answer...this is what is supposed to be home. But what do you do..if you feel none is waiting? Where do you feel home?
Untill now...that i'm 25 I had a kind of busy moving life. That means I moved a lot. First I moved when I was 7 to the city in order to go to school. Then when I thought everything was perfect, I had a lot of friends, places that I loved hanging, came college...and I moved to Cluj. 4 years in Cluj...and while here I often travelled Oradea, Budapesta, Cluj again. Then..in 2009 I left Cluj...moving back home for a while. Few months later I moved to Iasi..there...I staid 2 years...untill now that I moved back to Cluj. In every place i've been I met people, seen places,and took part of things with me; but I never managed to feel I belong there...that in that X place is my home...that there i'm going to built something. Strange as it is...now I moved again in Cluj..and I have that feeling that in a short time...i'll get going on the road again...
I miss feeling home...How is that feeling?
vineri, 3 iunie 2011
Things don’t have to last forever in order to be perfect.
Have you ever woke-up and had the feeling that you miss something? Something that you once had – a touch of a hand, a smell of green spring wet grass, a friend, a warm voice on the phone, a kiss, a place where you felt secured, the smell of pancakes filled with strawberry jelly? Or maybe something you never had or felt but just know that you miss not having and not knowing what it feels like?
I had both feelings lately. Mostly I miss my childhood. It was perfect. A quite small village, me the center of the universe for my grandparents, the feeling of rain on my feet, the warm hand of my grandmother, my first friends from the kindergarthen, my first Christmas with Santa, my first bike, my first written words, my long hair, my first drawing book, my first dress made by my grandmother and most of all the feeling that everything would be ok, that nothing bad could ever happen to me. Time took its right and I grew-up…so like all perfect things my childhood ended.
Then everything became complicated…true life started with school, responsabilities, worries, plans, dreams, fears. It seems like it has been ages since I took my head in the big world…but looking back I feel the same as I did 20 years ago.
Sometimes we forget about ourselves trying to understand others, trying to get somewhere, to achive something, to make true our dreams, we focus to much on not making any mistakes and we forget to relax, to smile. We feel all the time in the back of our head the fear of not doing what we are supposed to do, of not disappointing others, of not making the wrong choices. But who can say what is the right way and what is the wrong one? I think only us can tell if we look deep inside ourselves.
I’ve learned over the years that we have to enjoy everything good that happens to us without making plans, without asking why, because if we spend time asking questions we might just waist precious moments. Things sometimes happen for a reason, because they are ment to be, and sometimes things happen with no reason. The thing is that nothing lasts forever. Life itsn’t forever. Love is not forever. None of the things around us last forever because in life change is something we can’t stop, it is like time…we can’t stop the clock in this day, hour of 2011. But in order to be perfect, a thing, a feeling, a moment, doesn’t have to last forever. We just need to make the best out of it, to leave every second giving the best, enjoying it and keep inside of us the memories…that we can play over and over again in our head…when we’re missing something that was perfect.
I had both feelings lately. Mostly I miss my childhood. It was perfect. A quite small village, me the center of the universe for my grandparents, the feeling of rain on my feet, the warm hand of my grandmother, my first friends from the kindergarthen, my first Christmas with Santa, my first bike, my first written words, my long hair, my first drawing book, my first dress made by my grandmother and most of all the feeling that everything would be ok, that nothing bad could ever happen to me. Time took its right and I grew-up…so like all perfect things my childhood ended.
Then everything became complicated…true life started with school, responsabilities, worries, plans, dreams, fears. It seems like it has been ages since I took my head in the big world…but looking back I feel the same as I did 20 years ago.
Sometimes we forget about ourselves trying to understand others, trying to get somewhere, to achive something, to make true our dreams, we focus to much on not making any mistakes and we forget to relax, to smile. We feel all the time in the back of our head the fear of not doing what we are supposed to do, of not disappointing others, of not making the wrong choices. But who can say what is the right way and what is the wrong one? I think only us can tell if we look deep inside ourselves.
I’ve learned over the years that we have to enjoy everything good that happens to us without making plans, without asking why, because if we spend time asking questions we might just waist precious moments. Things sometimes happen for a reason, because they are ment to be, and sometimes things happen with no reason. The thing is that nothing lasts forever. Life itsn’t forever. Love is not forever. None of the things around us last forever because in life change is something we can’t stop, it is like time…we can’t stop the clock in this day, hour of 2011. But in order to be perfect, a thing, a feeling, a moment, doesn’t have to last forever. We just need to make the best out of it, to leave every second giving the best, enjoying it and keep inside of us the memories…that we can play over and over again in our head…when we’re missing something that was perfect.
marți, 22 martie 2011
Back in Cluj
In seara asta am ajuns in Cluj. Doamne ce s-au mai schimbat locurile aici. In piata Mihai Viteazu, unde mergeam la celebrul cinema Republica troneaza acum Cinema Florin Piersic ne anunta o sigla cu multe spoturi, beculete si bling-bling. Ciudat...oamenii de aici spun ca s-ar fi facut si celebrul actor PDL-ist.
Drumul cu trenul Iasi- Cluj a fost obositor. 9 ore. In studentie drumul acesta mi se parea o nimica toata..astazi dupa 2 ani ...am numarat fiecare secunda, minut, pana la 10..apoi fiecare sfert de ora, ora etc. Am strabatut 495km asa scrie pe bilet..am trecut muntii si am ajuns in Ardeal. Drumul acesta intre cele 2 tinuturi este spectaculos daca vrei sa-ti dai seama ca tara in care traim ne ofera peisaje superbe. Plin de serpentine in partea de sus poti vedea casele mici, muntii impaduriti, brazi semeti, ape curgatoare, cariere de piatra peste care curge apa, stanci dezgolite.Totul e sa fii deschis si sa observi in jurul tau.
Maine e o zi plina. Can wait for it
Drumul cu trenul Iasi- Cluj a fost obositor. 9 ore. In studentie drumul acesta mi se parea o nimica toata..astazi dupa 2 ani ...am numarat fiecare secunda, minut, pana la 10..apoi fiecare sfert de ora, ora etc. Am strabatut 495km asa scrie pe bilet..am trecut muntii si am ajuns in Ardeal. Drumul acesta intre cele 2 tinuturi este spectaculos daca vrei sa-ti dai seama ca tara in care traim ne ofera peisaje superbe. Plin de serpentine in partea de sus poti vedea casele mici, muntii impaduriti, brazi semeti, ape curgatoare, cariere de piatra peste care curge apa, stanci dezgolite.Totul e sa fii deschis si sa observi in jurul tau.
Maine e o zi plina. Can wait for it
joi, 17 martie 2011
Inlove ...with me
Martie 2011 si a venit in sfarsit primavara...De fapt a aparut soarele dupa multe luni de iarna si era normal entuziasmul cu care toti am lasat hainele groase, cizmele, sosetele, cauciucurile de iarna, am inchis centrala, am deschis geamul si am iesit afara...sa simtim aerul de primavara, soarele mangaind pielea si ..sa vedem lumea, sa ne vedem intre noi.
Sunt sigura ca fiecare dintre voi ati avut cel putin o perioada in viata cand nu va gaseati locul. Cand fie ca erati in statia de autobuz, fie ca stateati la cursuri, indeplineati o sarcina solicitanta la birou sau pur si simplu stateati comod in fata tv-ului sau laptopului..nu va gaseati locul...erati acolo...si totusi simteati ca sunteti strain de ce se intampla in jur. Unii o numesc depresie, astenie de primavara, de iarna, lipsa de ocupatie, lipsa de resurse, plictiseala...insa toti stim ca e ceva mai mult...absenta din propria viata.
Asta mi s-a intamplat si mie...pana m-am re-descoperit. Am lasat pe ceilalti din jur sa aiba grija de altii si m-am privit in oglinda. Asemeni celui care ajuns la 40 de ani nu si-a privit niciodata fata...m-am speriat. Ceea ce mi se infatisa nu eram eu. Eu nu eram eu,ci o straina fara chef de viata. Am dat delete la ce am vazut...si am inceput sa-mi restabilesc prioritatile. Rezultatul? Voi, cei care m-ati cunoscut acum 2-3 ani il stiti...ceilalti ...you'll see.
P.S- Saptamana viitoare sunt la Cluj. Abia astept sa ma plimb pe strazi aiurea fara ca prea multi oameni sa nu ma cunosca, sa mananc o prajitura formidabila la cofetaria amicului de la Olimpus, sa vizitam Polus Center, Iulius Mall pentru noi locatii de magazine si branduri, savuram o cafea la Turabo si sa mergem in Diesel pentru some dancing. Meet you there!
Sunt sigura ca fiecare dintre voi ati avut cel putin o perioada in viata cand nu va gaseati locul. Cand fie ca erati in statia de autobuz, fie ca stateati la cursuri, indeplineati o sarcina solicitanta la birou sau pur si simplu stateati comod in fata tv-ului sau laptopului..nu va gaseati locul...erati acolo...si totusi simteati ca sunteti strain de ce se intampla in jur. Unii o numesc depresie, astenie de primavara, de iarna, lipsa de ocupatie, lipsa de resurse, plictiseala...insa toti stim ca e ceva mai mult...absenta din propria viata.
Asta mi s-a intamplat si mie...pana m-am re-descoperit. Am lasat pe ceilalti din jur sa aiba grija de altii si m-am privit in oglinda. Asemeni celui care ajuns la 40 de ani nu si-a privit niciodata fata...m-am speriat. Ceea ce mi se infatisa nu eram eu. Eu nu eram eu,ci o straina fara chef de viata. Am dat delete la ce am vazut...si am inceput sa-mi restabilesc prioritatile. Rezultatul? Voi, cei care m-ati cunoscut acum 2-3 ani il stiti...ceilalti ...you'll see.
P.S- Saptamana viitoare sunt la Cluj. Abia astept sa ma plimb pe strazi aiurea fara ca prea multi oameni sa nu ma cunosca, sa mananc o prajitura formidabila la cofetaria amicului de la Olimpus, sa vizitam Polus Center, Iulius Mall pentru noi locatii de magazine si branduri, savuram o cafea la Turabo si sa mergem in Diesel pentru some dancing. Meet you there!
luni, 24 ianuarie 2011
Intersectii
Ma misc in cerc, urc, cobor, urc si iar cobor,
Ma dor talpile, frumoasele mele talpi,
Ce au strabatut atatea sezoane...
De frig, de toamna, de liniste,
De sange proaspat.
Ma misc in cerc, cu miscari studiate,
Atent repetate, fixe, obsesiv de perfecte
Ca si cum altcineva imi controleza
Picioarele, muschii, pulsul, respiratia,
Ca si cum altcineva ma ghideaza undeva.
Ma misc in cerc si totusi inaintez
Vad strazi pustii, paduri semete, lacuri, munti,
Vad oameni mari, expresii triste, copii razand.
Ma vad pe mine intr-un colt absenta,
Ma vad pe mine in oglinda..Sunt eu
Si totusi nu imi seman...
Ma misc in cerc, incet si sigur,
Ma-ndrept in timp, in mii de ore, ies din spatiu,
Ma misc in cerc, ma uit spre cer,
Ma uit atent si totusi nu privesc.
Ma misc in cerc, ma misc precis
Ma misc in cerc...si totusi...
...am ajuns.
24.01.2011- first one after a while
Ma dor talpile, frumoasele mele talpi,
Ce au strabatut atatea sezoane...
De frig, de toamna, de liniste,
De sange proaspat.
Ma misc in cerc, cu miscari studiate,
Atent repetate, fixe, obsesiv de perfecte
Ca si cum altcineva imi controleza
Picioarele, muschii, pulsul, respiratia,
Ca si cum altcineva ma ghideaza undeva.
Ma misc in cerc si totusi inaintez
Vad strazi pustii, paduri semete, lacuri, munti,
Vad oameni mari, expresii triste, copii razand.
Ma vad pe mine intr-un colt absenta,
Ma vad pe mine in oglinda..Sunt eu
Si totusi nu imi seman...
Ma misc in cerc, incet si sigur,
Ma-ndrept in timp, in mii de ore, ies din spatiu,
Ma misc in cerc, ma uit spre cer,
Ma uit atent si totusi nu privesc.
Ma misc in cerc, ma misc precis
Ma misc in cerc...si totusi...
...am ajuns.
24.01.2011- first one after a while
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