Its already november and outsite the weather is cold and windy. Its one of those days of monday when you're not in the mood to go out of bed because you see from your window the frozen trees and you can feel your nose glued by the wild wind. You think you would have gave anything to be Sunday and not to have to go out of bed so morning. The smell of roasted coffee makes your senses feel better but the tv morning show about the election campaign makes you grumpy again. You decide to leave your place and in your way to work you think about all the problems you have to solve this week. Its more cold outsite than you thought and you take the bus to arrive downtown. In your chair, between other people you feel wormer and you try to accept the fact- its winter allready. Soon will end this year, another one in my life.
In this silent and still nervous morning you can feel in the air the end of a kind autumn and my mind is navigating in space. I don't mind the hostality of this morning because I can see on the coffee table a bowl of yellow daffodils. I was receiving them every mounth of every year i was with him, because we both like their smell in the whole house. Near the table you could see the window that shows a beautiful view to the sea and mountains. The courtain window, made by my grandmother, is from a velvet-satin tissue in the colour of cappuccino. My nose is tickled by the delicate parfume of roasted almonds, greased with butter and sprayed with a cup of caffe latte with cinnamon. The touch of the firm hand I loved for over 5 years woke me up and I could feel my eyes getting wormer in a second. So as my heart! I would put my long fingers with my red nail that i always wear- the fingers on which you could see a single simple white gold ring- in his black hear and kiss him. I could see my sleepy face in the clear eyes of Alice that is up again at an hour adults like to sleep on weekends. Its Sunday and Alice has 3years and she is a little princees, my sunshine. I m happy, I wake up every morning near the people I love, quiet and fulfilled. The phone starts to ring and everybody is wishing me happy birthday. I m smiling back to the last sunrays. Chois, the cat, is romping around me, shaking his tail showing me his satisfaction that from his 9 lifes he still has plenty to number. I would have had time to check my computer and emails before us leaving to meet at a nice terrace near the sea with the relatives and friends for coffee and lunch. I might have seen the blueprints for the new number of the magazine between a sweet kiss and a touch of my body in his attempt to choose from the closet for me a sexy dress to wear. The ideas for the magazine, althought last week I believed different, don't sadisfy me now. I forget for now about this and I let myself absorbed by the nice heat of the arms around my body and the kiss on my face with green olive eyes and black hair. I would have left my hair grow longer because I knew this would have made him happy and I would have never regreted I chose this way. I had everything I dreamed and more. All this would have been real on my 27 birthday if he just have said 'yes'.
Its end of route and my station, so I go out of the bus. I m in front of the small building were is the newspaper's headquarters. I m thinking what to write to you on this first monday of november 2009, a year that brought hard times to all of us. I can see my colleagues at the morning coffee and cigarette. I go to say hallo ...its still early morning and I still have enough time to think on my editorial for today and enough time till my 27bithday.
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